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About Literature / Hobbyist AmberFemale/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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My Anxiety
Just take one step out the door, it will be the start.
I know, I know it’s not that hard.
Just say hi, just do it once, it will help you be brave.
Yes I know, I Know it’s not that hard.
But when you hate yourself, your body, your mind,
you are afraid of everyone around you judging you,
just as you judge yourself.
I’ve gone out that door, I’ve done it before,
yet here I am standing frozen, my fear freezing me.
My Anxiety.
I wring my hands, smile and laugh, try to interject
But the words won’t leave my mouth.
I’m not satisfied.
So I hide, in the dark corners, looking on and longing
Wishing I could even try.
I wish I could do it. I need some help,
Help, my anxiety.
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
Stopped trying, but did not give up
Why are you avoiding me?
Your first words.
My fingers frozen, hovering over the keyboard.
Eyes pierced by tears.
A familiar taste, guilt, rises in my heart.
My reply: I haven’t.
A partial lie, only if stress and forgetfulness count as avoidance.
You have. You’ve been talking to other people.
Tears weal up, truth, but twisted.
I have, not for fun, but work. Chance meetings, regular occurrences.
It takes 5 seconds to say “I’m busy.” It’s not that hard.
Not that hard? Something sparks inside, an unfamiliar feeling when it comes to you. I do not say, but think: sometimes even logging on is a chore, work is exhausting. People are exhausting. I think, “Why do you say this? I need time to recover. Talking is not alone.”
Instead, my reply: I don’t know what to say. I guess I forget.
You forgot! We’re close, we were in love once. How can you just forget me?
A flame springs inside, the taste of guilt awash with bitter anger.
Forget you.
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
Shattering a Heart
I don't know why, or can even explain, why my heart stopped loving you that day. I still care, even if you don't believe. I still love, though not in the same way. My subconscious knew, though I didn't know yet. The wrongness I felt, I ignored all the same. I want to love you, but that I can't change. The timing is wrong, but then, that's how it falls. I've broken your heart, and shattered your soul, yet you still look at me with love in your eyes. I hope you can love, and I'll deal with the hate, I did what I needed, and so should you. I don't know why, or can even explain, why my heart stopped loving you that day.
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
Everyone's An Actor
Everyone’s an actor.
I hide behind my smile,
A truth that will hurt,
A lie that will sting.
Everyone’s an actor.
Lies flowing from the lips
“everything’s fine”
“There’s nothing wrong”
“of course I love you.”
Everyone’s an actor.
Shame filling the soul,
Pretending, hiding
the truth in these words.
Smothering the heart.
Everyone’s an actor,
No practice needed.
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
Snow Falling in a Summer Grove
As soon as Shalin stepped out onto the street, she slipped on the new fresh coat of ice and snow that had come that morning.  Flailing her arms, she retained her balance by grabbing the light post on the front left corner of their yard.  Cursing silently to herself, she let go of the light post, only to lose her balance again as her younger, more enthusiastic brother, Tim, came hurtling out of nowhere; whooping and hollering.  She glared at him as he skated across the street easily keeping his balance on the slippery ice.  Finally he came back and slid to a stop in front of her, his hazel brown eyes twinkling with mischief.
"What's the matter sis?  Scared of a little ice."  he asked, grinning wildly as he pushed back his mop of black hair.  Her only response was to stand up, grind some salt from the driveway into the bottom of her boots and stalk across the road to the other side.  
Shalin hated winter.
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
Mature content
Coming Back :icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 2 3
A Cry Withing
I stand
in a world
you can't see,
a world
where peace
is not.
No one
can feel
or joy,
only dread,
and cold.
No one
can help us
in this world.
We can only
help ourselves,
but we're afraid.
of what others
might think,
so we do not
come out.
It is hidden
from others
who feel
and warmth.
It's hidden
our smiles
and eyes.
We're afraid
to come out.
We cannot explain,
for we
are our own
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 2 0
Eye of the storm by Draweroffantasy Eye of the storm :icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 1 0
Death is meaningless.
There's little sense
in world's with difference.
There is nowhere to hide.
Deep inside
there is black end endlessness.
Come back to the world.
Come back to the rain.
There's loneliness
when you're surrounded by acquaintances.
You're not alone
but you feel alone.
You are loved well.
You're never forgiven by yourself.
You are ever changing.
You are eternal being.
You cannot see what others see.
You are blinded.
I am forever changing.
I am eternally the same.
I cannot see, feel, taste or hear
what others sense so clear.
Walk along a path.
Little direction,
so you're lost.
There is fear.
Meaning is lost
so you don't know what to face.
Come back to reality.
Come back to the sun.
There is wistful joy
when you're surrounded by hopelessness.
You are ever changing.
You are eternal being.
You cannot see what others see.
You are blinded.
I am forever changing.
I am eternally the same.
I cannot see, feel, taste or hear
what others sense so clear.
It's like a dream
that's neve
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
Cloud's Reflection Part 2 by Draweroffantasy Cloud's Reflection Part 2 :icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 1 1 Outside the cage by Draweroffantasy Outside the cage :icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 3 0 Mountain range in darklavia by Draweroffantasy Mountain range in darklavia :icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 1 0 Canadian Sunset by Draweroffantasy Canadian Sunset :icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
With Love and With Pain
On our way through our journey do we stay the same.
Shedding tears, sharing fears; do we feel that way?
Or do we come back to where we were?
Come back again to that changeless place?
Do we come back to that utter helplessness that will never transform into something better?
Forever the same, with eternal change.
A tree may grow to the highest place, but where there was a branch, it will never grow around the wound.
The highest mountaintop may grow and morph, but every year it is worn away; it crumbles away.
The sun shines down upon the earth.  If once it burned us it will once more.
What once occurred will reoccur.
What once was light will be so again.
What once was destiny will change but remains constant.
It's only the outside that is changed.
Wearing away the layers.  Removing the many masks we have.
Each hidden shield is different, but what they protect remains the same.
Grow and change.  We grow and change.
The core of our being remains the same, with
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 1 2
Threads silver and spidery
reaching out to people.
Beads of dew moving across,
stretching and relaxing
with the movement of time.
Attached to people, some
in weak ways, some in strong,
reaching out from our skin
to the people in our lives.
When stretched too tight
the thread pulls, and draws
blood.  When relaxed too much,
the thread slackens, and eventually
pulls down and breaks.
When one person falls,
the threads, if strong, will
keep them up.  If too strong,
it will drag others with them.
If weak, will break, and the
person will fall into the darkness.
I feel my threads pulling,
twisting.  Many have broken,
and wounds lay where they were.
Threads I tried to reach out
to others did not attach and
now fall, adding weight to me.
Threads firmly attached
now draw blood, from being
pulled too tight.  There are very
few that still hold me up.
Feathers float about me. I have
wings.  Others have them in different
forms.  Mine are lik
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0
The Sleeping Giants
The sleeping giants slowly stand
across the miles, across the land.
Silently watching roads and forests
changing, growing, shrinking miles.
A crown of clouds, a blanket of trees,
softly, breathing, silently.
Laying flat, or standing tall.
Gently sleeping, no matter at all.
Such great beauty gathered here.
Amid the crowning forests,
bears a queen, with snow white hair,
regal with her silent pose,
vision covered by mist.
Sleeping like the rest.
Unaware, and yet aware of tiny life below.
The sleeping giants, without care.
Growing, wearing away without care.
Dreaming of a long time ago
when they were but hills,
then grew to bear their rocky beards
and clothing of trees.
Remember ice flows moving slowly,
for like they, time is slow.
Remembering  ice gouging out
a path for itself, burying them
half in ice, carrying parts far away
to rest and become hills of their own.
Remembering small life emerging
after trees were given room to breath.
Remembering the first humans.
They dream.
:icondraweroffantasy:Draweroffantasy 0 0


Pose study 37 by Kate-FoX Pose study 37 :iconkate-fox:Kate-FoX 2,810 29 Morgan le Fay by mari-na Morgan le Fay :iconmari-na:mari-na 4,082 546 Princess Shirahoshi Revised by mad-y Princess Shirahoshi Revised :iconmad-y:mad-y 664 41 MOONCHILD by mari-na MOONCHILD :iconmari-na:mari-na 2,414 362 Ariel by ryodita Ariel :iconryodita:ryodita 1,005 77 Anima: summoning at old ruins by Wen-M Anima: summoning at old ruins :iconwen-m:Wen-M 2,505 92 Kiri Silvertip by kerembeyit Kiri Silvertip :iconkerembeyit:kerembeyit 3,352 123 Fire and Ashes by luciole Fire and Ashes :iconluciole:luciole 3,507 175 Mermaids by AironMag
Mature content
Mermaids :iconaironmag:AironMag 305 89
Mac OS tan by kaminary-san Mac OS tan :iconkaminary-san:kaminary-san 1,858 80 . My own little world . by Saphiremist . My own little world . :iconsaphiremist:Saphiremist 230 32 Blue mermaid by AironMag
Mature content
Blue mermaid :iconaironmag:AironMag 255 53
X-Men: The Last Stand: Phoenix by daekazu X-Men: The Last Stand: Phoenix :icondaekazu:daekazu 3,337 189 Aerith Gainsborough by AuroraWienhold Aerith Gainsborough :iconaurorawienhold:AuroraWienhold 1,679 148 Mermaids by daxiong Mermaids :icondaxiong:daxiong 1,367 150 Kirin girl by yangqi Kirin girl :iconyangqi:yangqi 19,288 979



Draweroffantasy's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Current Residence: Wherever my mind is
Favourite genre of music: Rock pop
Favourite style of art: Traditional artwork/Digital Art
Personal Quote: Many things can happen, you never know what the truth will be.


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MightyRaptor Featured By Owner May 24, 2016  Student Digital Artist
wolfanita Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2016   General Artist
Thank you for the watch! :highfive:
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Thank you for the watch <3
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I'm honored by the watch! 3xhearts - free to use 
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:iconthank-youplz: for the watch!
caycowa Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
 Thanks for watching my gallery. Cheers! :ahoy: 
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Much love for the watch :heart:
Draweroffantasy Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome
mandiemanzano Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for watching :)
The-Letter-W Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the Watch!
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